But I Want To Know Now!

"And He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority." Acts 1:7

Imagine a toddler having a complete meltdown: red faced, snot dripping down and mixing with tears, arms and legs flailing. Yup, I feel just like that sometimes. I want it now, whatever the it may be. I might not literally throw myself to the floor and hold my breath until I turn purple, but inside I can have a serious tantrum when I feel like God is making me wait for an unreasonable amount of time.

Anyone else been there?

Just like a toddler grows in maturity, and hopefully the tantrums less until they stop, I need to grow spiritually until the ones in me stop. Since God isn't required to tell me when anything is going to happen, the tantrum is pointless and exhausting. My flailing about and screaming isn't going to change anything. My tears will be counted, but they aren't going to get me my way. So what should I do?

Rest. Be still. Know that He is God. When it is the time or season that He has appointed it will happen. I can't hurry it up or even slow down it's coming. God will do it when He has it planned to be. Does that make it easy to wait? Not necessarily. But does it make it possible to wait? Yes!

I Need to Rest

This was the first devotion I wrote and published on November 3, 2012

Ecclesiastes 2:22-25 “What has a man (or woman) from all the toil and striving of heart with which he (she) toils beneath the sun? For all his (her) days are full of sorrow, and his (her) work is a vexation. Even in the night his (her) heart does not rest. This also is vanity. There is nothing better for a person than that he (she) should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his (her) toil. This also, I say, is from the hand of God, for apart from Him who can eat and have enjoyment? (ESV – italics added by me.)

Think about it for just a moment, which part of these verses describes you? Are you the woman who is vexed by your work, whatever that may be for you, and don’t get rest at night? Or are you the one who finds enjoyment in what you do and you rest at night?

If you are the second then that is great! I am happy that you have found that joy in your work. If you are the second, and at this time in my life I am as well, then we need to find that enjoyment and rest in Him, because if we don’t it is vanity.

I never thought that not finding joy in my work would be considered vanity. For definitions seek vanity means, “excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit". Or think about it this way, “lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness” (according to Dictionary.com)

Honestly one definition is just as bad as the other. I either am vexed with my work because I take pride in it and it’s all about me. And obviously there is something going wrong for me to be vexed by it. Or it is really sad to think of the second definition. That means that what I work at has no real value. Ouch!

Regardless, of which definition is true, the answer is the same for both. The answer is to rest in God. If I rest in Him I can eat and drink, unfortunately it doesn’t mean I can eat and drink all I want without gaining weight, and find enjoyment in my work. So what does it mean to rest in Him?

Resting in Him means to trust Him no matter what the circumstance, in this case the circumstance of my work. It means turning it over to Him and knowing that even if the bottom seems to fall out from under me, He has it all in His hands. Things will still go wrong, people will still do things that make you wonder or even get angry, and paperwork or busywork will still be apart of your work, but you will find enjoyment in Him.

Personally, I have been very vexed by my work of late, but within the last few days I have given it to Him, and I have been able to find more enjoyment in my work. The circumstances have not changed, not all, but I know He is with me and because of that I sleep better at night and find more reasons to smile and enjoy my work.