But I Want To Know Now!

"And He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority." Acts 1:7

Imagine a toddler having a complete meltdown: red faced, snot dripping down and mixing with tears, arms and legs flailing. Yup, I feel just like that sometimes. I want it now, whatever the it may be. I might not literally throw myself to the floor and hold my breath until I turn purple, but inside I can have a serious tantrum when I feel like God is making me wait for an unreasonable amount of time.

Anyone else been there?

Just like a toddler grows in maturity, and hopefully the tantrums less until they stop, I need to grow spiritually until the ones in me stop. Since God isn't required to tell me when anything is going to happen, the tantrum is pointless and exhausting. My flailing about and screaming isn't going to change anything. My tears will be counted, but they aren't going to get me my way. So what should I do?

Rest. Be still. Know that He is God. When it is the time or season that He has appointed it will happen. I can't hurry it up or even slow down it's coming. God will do it when He has it planned to be. Does that make it easy to wait? Not necessarily. But does it make it possible to wait? Yes!

I Don't Get It, But I'm In Pretty Good Company

"But they understood none of these things. This saying was hidden from them, and that they did not grasp what was said." Luke 18:34

The they in this verse is the disciples. There are many verses in the New Testament just like this one. Jesus spoke and the disciples cocked their heads to the side like a confused puppy. They often talked among themselves about how they were confused. Sometimes they would ask questions and other times Jesus would tell them He knew they were confused.

When I was young and heard about these twelve confused followers I thought they must have been dumb. I pictured a bunch of grown men huddled around, cocking their heads to the side and scratching it with perplexed looks on their faces. The image I created would make me laugh. Little did I know back then, but I'm more often than not a confused disciple too.

God hasn't changed. He still shows us a part of what He is doing, but not all. Most times I walk through life with just enough light shining to show me the next step. I wonder what He is doing or why He is doing things a particular way. I spent plenty of time with my head cocked to the side, scratching at that spot, and being confused. This confusion I feel makes me have to listen more carefully, watch more perspective, and rely more on Him.

What would happen if He did show us everything clearly? I know me well enough that I would run ahead and skip some steps. I would end up bungling His plans. I would also take pride in what I know, like somehow I am so smart. I would be puffed up, let me ego soar, and think myself like God. I would do exactly what satan told Eve in the Garden. "For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Genesis 3:5 Too much knowledge leads me to believe I am like God. I'm not. None of us are like God, no matter how many people think they are. He shows us just enough to help us walk the next step or two, but the rest we have to trust Him for. We have to believe that He does indeed have a plan for our lives, and that he will lead us there.

I no longer look at those confused disciples and wonder how they couldn't figure it out. I know realize I have something that they didn't. I can read the next chapter of their lives. I can see what Jesus did. I know their outcome. There is no finished novel about my life that I can reference and understand. I need to walk the path that He has set before me, dimly lit as it may be, but with trust even in my most confused moments.